DESS Newsletter - 37

You are not alone

Unless you have elected to live a remote, isolated existence then you will undoubtedly be able to list a number of teams of which you are a member, even if at a distance. For example, your marriage, partnerships, family, friends, any clubs or societies you are a member of, the residential community you live or the global community, (which I have never felt more a part of than I do right now). Irrespective of which teams we list, how we function and contribute towards these teams has a significant impact on our overall life satisfaction; this is the same for our children. Educating and supporting them to understand their various roles in teams will go a long way towards aiding their sense of fulfilment throughout their life; we all need that sense of belonging and accomplishment when we play our parts well.

I am forever fascinated by the animal kingdom we are so fortunate to be a part of and I believe that if you study any animal team the observable, essential roles each animal plays are always clear. They are habitually structured to ensure each takes responsibility for their common goal: basic survival. The tasks seem to be instinctively assigned, from a bee colony, a herd of elephants, a pack of wolves to a shoal of fish, every member knows and plays their part; if they don’t then the consequences are high. A key to their primeval success, for example in bees, is the absolute trust they have in each other to carry out their responsibilities; the queen, in particular, has unwavering trust in her colony to literally keep her alive and no single bee ever makes a decision to let her down; they are a captivating team system. So much so that, if you are interested, you can ‘learn lessons about teamwork from bees’ online! Who would have thought it?

We would all be hard pushed to find a thriving human team which was without the 3 key elements theory states teams should have: a sense of responsibility towards the team’s goals, trust within the team and loyalty to the team. Naturally, there is a lot more involved in most teams other than just those 3, but within the character strength ‘teamwork’ these are said to be the foundations.

It helps considerably to know your own and each other’s strengths and what you and they bring to the team. Not everyone knows or acknowledges their strengths and some people find it hard to see strengths in others, but be assured, we all have them and I hope the tasks your children completed this week helped everyone at home to recognise their strengths in your most important team: your family.

Once we identify our strengths, we can play to them, utilise them and appreciate seeing them in others, how they complement each other, and which team members need support if they aren’t as strong with a particular character strength. Personally, prudence is low on my character strengths, but my awareness to that fact helps me work to ensure it doesn’t hinder my role in a team.

The first team your child was a part of is with you, their most important and influential team. This being effective is critical for them now and for framing their ability to play their part in other teams for the rest of their life. Being open about, modeling and learning about strengths or characters with less natural inclination is genuinely a key to their success in life.

During this anomalous time, although we probably feel more connected to the global team, we (including the children) will no doubt feel (despite all the videos and calls) a lost connectivity with many of our teams; so, as we all work to stay connected, I want to assure you that the DESS team are right here also feeling that sense of lost connectivity with you and your children, we frankly miss you all!

Never forget that if you or your children need us, please reach out. DESS has that deep sense of responsibility to you all, we are loyal to our DESS family and know that the trust within our incredible team is abundant; you are not alone.

Wishing every member of our special DESS team the warmest Eid Mubarak and remember, as Mr Clarkson, Zialla and Ali (our Head Girl and Boy) told the children in assembly this week, “Teamwork makes the dream work”!

Rebecca Eldred
Assistant Headteacher

Staff Stars of the Week

To celebrate some of our committed people here at DESS, our staff stars of the week are:

Mrs Connie DeMendonca and Mrs Nicci Kynman

Message from our Student Advisor

Relationships – Trust and Safety

      Like any good team, the family unit needs to work together. The family team needs leadership, authority, rules, and role models. The leaders need to know their team, better than anyone else; looking for every opportunity to get the most out of their team members, playing to the team’s strengths, creating personal development, communicating effectively together and reflecting upon the team’s performance. Most importantly of all, the members of a team need to trust their leadership; know that they have their backs, that they will fight their corner, and they will be their champion.

We’ve heard of the helicopter parent, the snowplough parent or perhaps the lighthouse parent, the dolphin parent. However, in times of uncertainty, we need the brick parent (Treisman, K., 2016). The brick parent builds a stable home, with a secure base and offers emotional, physical and relational safety. They provide safe havens that children trust.

Parents are the children’s maps, their guides, their kaleidoscopes on how they see themselves, others, and the world around them.  When leaders invest in their team members, they believe they are valued, worth something and have something to offer to the world.  When new risks, uncertain feelings and times of vulnerability arise, the team members’ story is supportive, they are accepted and trust that they belong in the team – even if they fail or fall. They have the support. or safety net, of a leader they trust behind them. These experiences colour the children’s world, creating concepts of self-worth, and tell the story of how they see and manage their world around them.

To understand our team, we need to look through their lens, their experience and start to see how they see the world. When we do this, there is a shift in our language and relationships. In troubled times, we move from change from “what is wrong with you?” to “how can I help you, tell me more about what happened”… This change in relationship matters. As a society, we need to be more connected with the process, placing more value on the relationship.

Relational troubles need relational repair. We need to show children that relationships can be safe, parents can be trusted and even during ups and down, that relationships are worth investing in. Children need to be held in a relationship with an embodied sense of trusted safety. Without safety, everything else feels fragile and dangerous.

In times of uncertainty, you lean more than ever on your leaders, your safety net. When you are in shark-infested waters, without safety or a trusted source of support – you feel vulnerable. You could go into flight mode, but you believe you’ll never swim fast enough to get away. You could freeze – but that doesn’t end well. So, you fight – you become a shark, you act like a shark and attack back. Children are swimming in new waters – not our safe serene swimming pools they are used to but deep, dark water, unknown territory. Let’s not judge our team by their reactions or label behaviours – behaviours don’t define you; they help tell the story. If the behaviour we see as leaders can talk, if it has a function, what is it really telling us?

The children are not attention-seeking at the moment; they are attention-needing. Together we need to actively encourage connection, empathy, compassion, emotional expression, and courage – so that we consciously and deliberately, truly see what’s happening.  As leaders of our team, as parents, we need to invest more heavily than ever before, cast out the safety net, trust in their journey and understand what their world looks like – demonstrate it is ok, that we have their backs. If we increase the safety and trust, then the fear, the threat of danger and the anxiety decrease. They need your safe haven.

When writing the book, ‘The Body Keeps the Score’ (2014), Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a Dutch American psychiatrist who spent his professional life studying how children and adults adapt to traumatic experiences, identified “the parent-child connection is the most powerful mental health intervention known to mankind.”

We are all doing the best we can – we would all love to click our fingers and be our ideal self, all of the time. However, these times are new and uncertain for us all, both for parents and children, and we all have emotional needs; especially now. Be kind to yourself when you fail, we all fail often; notice these times add meaning, a time to reflect on, that failure does not define who we are and it provide an opportunity to grow.

Olivia Tom
Student Advisor

References:
Treisman, K. (2016). Working with relational and developmental trauma in children and adolescents. Taylor & Francis.
Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma. Penguin UK. 

 Teacher Feature

Miss Sewnauth

What is your full name?
Yvonne Emma Sewnauth.

What do you teach?
Foundation Stage 1 Class Teacher and Year Leader.

What is your top tip to dealing with the stay at home policy?
My life mantra, to be honest, which is to ‘always smile and stay positive’! Situations could always be a whole lot worse, and no matter how hard it gets, it’s best to look on the bright side – a positive mind brings a positive life … oh and chocolate biscuits! (We’re all allowed one vice, right?!)

How are you staying active?
I’m regularly going out running and walking, as well as fitting in the odd yoga session and HIIT workout. I’m also delighted now that the cycle tracks have reopened, but with temperatures soaring, it will need to be the indoor trainer from now on!

What is your favourite food?
Gosh, I genuinely don’t have a favourite – I enjoy every cuisine and miss dining out! However, you really can’t beat a delicious slice of baked Scottish salmon and some veggies. The lovely thing about this situation is that I’ve found I’m cooking more… although, not quite got around to mastering the art of bread making as most people appear to have during this period!

How do you relax in the evenings?
Again, I really try to get in some form of exercise, either in the morning before work or in the evening once the laptop is switched off, before coming home to cook dinner, whilst listening to music. Then, either watch Netflix or read a good book, which currently is ‘The Hunting Party’!

Miss Waugh

What is your full name?
Sophie Charlotte Waugh.

What do you teach?
Physical Education.

What is your top tip to dealing with the stay at home policy?
I’ve personally found it important to stick to a daily routine to get a good work-life balance. Drinking lots of water and scheduling brain-breaks from the screen also help me as I struggle to sit still.

How are you staying active?
I start each day with a walk or run – I love going out early before the crowds and feeling like I have the place to myself. It’s lovely and calm. I also do a Zoom HIIT class every morning and go for an evening walk or run… got to get those steps in for Lynx House!

What is your favorite food?
I adore Sushi! It’s a great treat to work towards enjoying every so often and my favourite restaurant has a dangerously good offer on at the moment – eek!

How do you relax in the evenings?
I run or walk to un-wind at the end of the day. I’ve recently started listening to podcasts which are a great accompaniment to my exercise routine – although I probably look a bit odd laughing by myself whilst listening to The Ramseys…they’re a hilarious Geordie comedic duo.

I also wanted to learn a new skill throughout this experience so for the first time ever, I’ve begun to paint…by-numbers! Everyone’s got to start somewhere ay!

Race to Mount Everest

Have a look and see which staff house is leading the walk from DESS to Mount Everest!

It’s a very long way but for the third week running Lynx are still in the lead. Leopards have maintained second place and Jaguars are very close behind them. The Panthers have finally woken up and are right behind the Jaguars. Cheebbr on your teachers and get them motivated to do a few more step.

Keep going Teachers

Lynx – 1,893,354
Leopards – 1,814,789
Jaguars – 1,709,062
Panthers – 1,326,216

DESS Medical Team Contact Information

Please remember that the DESS Medical Team are here for you. If you have any queries or want advice about anything health related, feel free to contact one of our school nurses or our school doctor.

The medical team are available Sunday – Thursday 7:15 – 15:45.

Remote Learning at DESS

Teamwork

This week, our focus was on the character strength, Teamwork. We wanted our children to work on their ability to compromise and use their communication skills. The children began to think about teamwork within their families and the unique roles they play, as well as looking at how to support each other in their home environments.

We really value and focus on this character strength at DESS because it’s one of our 4Cs. Teamwork is another way of saying Collaboration.

Don’t forget there are many ways you can communicate with us:

Parent / Teacher Communication: Parents can communicate with the class teachers using the designated class email.
Parent / School Communication: Parents will continue to contact the school via Jacqui Thurley or Reception for general enquiries. 
Social media: Please share your comments on our social media platforms. We love receiving your messages and tweets. Don’t forget to include the following hashtags: #InThisTogether #InThisTogetherDubai #WeHaveGotThis #DESStrongerThanEver #DESSremotelearning #RemoteLearning

Star of the Week

We are proud to announce that the following children each received Star of the Week. Well done to everyone!

Thursday 21st May 2020