Are you a bystander?

Imagine being faced with a choice between eating a juicy shawarma or a dressing-free kale salad. Many of us would opt for the tantalising shawarma, despite the fact that the salad is clearly much healthier.

Something similar happens when we have to make a choice between empathy and apathy. At times it can be more appealing to look away from another person’s pain rather than make the effort to help.

Let’s face it- being kind is hard. But there is another reason why, at times, we find this choice difficult - The Bystander Effect; described as a social-psychological phenomenon, where the presence of others discourages a person’s willingness to help someone in need.

Picture this scene. You are driving down Sheikh Mohammad Bin Zayed Road on a busy afternoon and you spot someone with a car issue waving for help. Do you stop and help, or do you assume that another driver will pull over and provide assistance? I am sure we have all found ourselves in similar situations; times when we may have witnessed a sales assistant getting harassed from a customer for a reason that clearly isn’t their fault. Or perhaps you’ve been in an emergency situation and hoped that someone else would take charge. We come across an issue, consider some sort of kind positive action, but are reluctant to help and do nothing. We remain bystanders.

Why should we make the effort not to be bystanders, choose empathy and stand up? Well, on a basic level, it just makes you feel better. Empathy allows us to tap into the positive energy around us and helps us connect with and understand others. More importantly, empathy inspires us to help people who appear different from us on the outside. It’s crucial to our wellbeing as individuals and communities. When we have empathy, we’re more likely to be forgiving of others and overlook their faults. In contrast, research has shown that less empathetic people have a harder time making friends and tend to experience greater depression and loneliness.

“The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members”.

This quote from Coretta Scott King superbly touches upon the essence of our community at DESC. We are constituted so that simple acts of kindness are a part of the daily life here. Whether it is a student opening the door for you when you are carrying a huge pile of books to mark, or a staff member who is showing you how to effectively use technology during a staff inset session, community values are embedded into our establishment. We make a conscious effort to ensure kindness and a caring attitude is something that is central to ensuring our students turn into great people.

This week, as part of our Counter Bullying Programme and ongoing efforts to raise awareness of tolerance and empathy, students were reminded about the importance of community in helping ensure DESC retains its positive culture. Mr Cotgrove and I spoke about the importance of embracing the great diversity at DESC and accepting others. We framed this through a discussion about the bystander effect and how just being aware of it can mean that you are more likely to help someone when the times comes.

Finally, I would like to finish with two brief accounts that make me very proud to be associated with DESC. Firstly, I am thrilled to announce that Joey Johnson, an ex-student of DESC and son of our long serving Exams Officer, Tricia Johnson, is making great progress with his physiotherapy, speech therapy and occupational therapy after suffering a brain haemorrhage in January while visiting his parents in Dubai. The support our community has provided will make a huge difference to the amount and quality of rehabilitation Joey is able to receive. Secondly, many of you will know Yubraj, a much-valued member of our site staff, who in April 2020 tragically lost his wife shortly after she gave birth to their first child, Jaladha. Together, our community stood up and supported Yubraj and his daughter, to ensure her longer term care, wellbeing and future education. We are delighted that Yubraj has now been reunited with his daughter and immediate family.

Have a good weekend.

Martin Nash

Assistant Headteacher